Tender Heart Healing

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The Real Reason Empaths are Stressed and Drained…

Photo by Jeffery Erhunse on Unsplash

In writing about energy protection for empaths, I realized there are a LOT of factors, and I couldn’t fit them all in to one post. If you’re an empath or sensitive person seeking relief, understanding, or guidance about how to protect your energy, make sure to also read “Why Boundaries are an Empath’s Best Friend”.


At first, it might feel like an unsolvable mystery as to why you are feeling stressed, drained, or overwhelmed. But I’m here to tell you, it’s no My Favorite Murder podcast, it’s that you need to protect your energy.

“Protecting your energy” may be a bit of a misnomer in the spiritual world. This phrase makes me feel like we need to put up a strong barbed wire fence around our ourselves and be a vigilant guardian of our energy, as if we’re always under attack.

 

When an empath or sensitive person is out of alignment, you may feel constantly under attack or think you need to “protect” your energy.


You might feel constantly drained by others and your environment, weighed down physically and emotionally, or tend to avoid interacting with the world for fear of how much it will negativity affect you. So of course, a natural solution seems to be to shield, to hide, or to protect your energy so you can function in your day-to-day.

 

Sounding familiar?...  

 

Here’s the thing…It doesn’t have to be this way, lovely empath!

 

I’ve learned during Reiki healing sessions and working with energetically sensitive clients, that the term “energetic hygiene” feels more aligned and loving for empaths as they strive to feel their best and understand how to manage their sensitivities.

 

Energetic hygiene? YES! At this point in my journey as a healer, I clear my energy with the same habitual consistency that I brush my teeth, wash my hands, or take a shower. I can feel when I haven’t practiced energetic hygiene, the same way I can see my hands are dirty or taste my bad breath in the morning.

 

So, what does energetic hygiene look like in real life? Well, if you’ve worked with me on the Reiki table you know my favorite subject in the energy world is boundaries.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash


Think of boundaries as the rules you have around your hygiene: “I brush my teeth every morning and evening,” or “I always wash my hands after using the bathroom.” You can read more about that type of energetic hygiene HERE.

 

The second part of energetic hygiene is the actual action of cleaning, or caring for yourself. Brushing your teeth and washing your hands are actions of personal hygiene.


The action of energetic hygiene is energy clearing for your body and spirit. Or in other words, energy clearing is the releasing, cleaning up, or getting rid of energetic dirt, gunk, or grime that isn’t good for your energetic health.

 

Holding on to energies that aren’t yours is like wearing a weighted vest all day. Even though you know it’s not yours, it begins to feel like your own after carrying it long enough. That extra ‘weight’ pulls you down and wears you out quicker.

 

It’s a very natural human tendency to hold on to other energies, and especially common for empaths, helpers, and healers. Many times, this is our way of ‘helping’ those around us. We absorb their emotions, stress, and hardship thinking this will take their pain away or soften it for them.

 

Absorbing in this way is typically an unconscious habit. Nobody really wants to hold on to other people’s energetic weight, it’s simply the result of a deep desire to help, please, or heal.


So…How do I get rid of this stuff that isn’t mine?

There are endless ways to clear your energy, but the most important factor is your intention. If you can give yourself a few minutes each day to check in and acknowledge what might be yours or someone else’s, you can begin to move things out that don’t belong.

 

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

In its’ most simple form, an energy clearing can look like holding your hand over your heart and stating: “Anything that does not belong to me or is not for my highest good, may leave now.”

 

In the beginning, it’s powerful to name and claim what those energies might be. It could be drama at work, a scary story in the news, a partner’s bad mood, or even your own stories that keep looping but you know aren’t serving you.

 

Imagine those energies leaving your heart, mind, and body, freeing up space within yourself. This space you’ve created is reclaiming YOUR energy, YOUR boundaries, and YOUR true self.

Some very simple ways to clear your energy are:

Walking in nature

Meditation

Epsom Salt bath

Grounding

Full moon rituals

Checking in with your BOUNDARIES to see where you might need some boundary reinforcement!

Perhaps the best way to describe this is not “protecting” your energy, but filling yourself so fully with your own spirit that there isn’t room for other energies to make camp and weigh you down. This requires a consistent awareness of what energies are affecting you, and conscious upkeep of clearing and refilling yourself.